Thursday, September 11, 2008

Big foot poop in a baggie

1. Ugly drawing:
I started drawing one of those babies from that forwarded email I was referring to earlier today...and OH MY LORD is it ugly. I'm not going to even start on the clothing. It's horrid (the drawing, not the photo I'm drawing from).

But at least I was in a drawing mood, right? So I kept drawing, designed some wrist tattoos that I would like to get (yes parents, wrist on my right that says "Draw" with a squiggly line under it and the tip of a pencil. and another one on my left that says "Knit" I can remember when I knit and purl my knitted rows are on the left... :) I'm lame. LOL.
So since I was still in the mood to draw after the ugliest drawing of a baby I have ever drawn (not entirely true, I actually drew a horrible picture of a co-workers niece that was gorgeous once...and started over before she saw it.) I decided to draw some Big Foot Sketches:
No, I am not one of the crazy people who will pay for a tour of some land that is "known" to have big foot walking around. If in fact big foot does exist, it's a wild creature. how do I know he won't come attack me if he felt like it? Or bite me. I have a very odd fear of creatures biting me...just running up and knawing on my leg or foot. Odd.

Anyway- yes I was crazy, glued to the news when there were reports of those idiots who claimed to have found a giant rubber suit with entrails in a freezer...I mean big foot. I figured it was a hoax. But with all of the new species people keep finding, or animals scientists thought were extinct, but keep popping up, I did want to believe that maybe, just maybe someone found one. It would have been kind of cool.

Which brings me to story time. I'm pretty sure I swore to my friend that I would never tell a soul about this, but I'm pretty sure I've told every living acquaintance the story, because I felt like such an ass (sorry mom, but it's the only fitting word here). So this "friend" of mine used to live in Seattle, and he would wander the woods at night, asking for trouble...I mean, hiking. He was afterall in search of big foot. One of these outings, he found "something" that he believed was "somethings" of big foots. So he picked it up and put it in a plastic carry it around with him for 10 or so years. Until he meets me. He didn't tell me what it was, but grabbed the baggie in mid-story, where I go "oh yeah, Owl pellets. We dissected those in 6th grade". To which he immediatly threw the contents in the trash. He thought it was big foot poop. And I just went and shaddered his hopes and dreams. Seriously, I feel like an ass for that. I could have kept my mouth shut and he could have lived in blissful happiness for the rest of his life "knowing" that he had "bigfoot poop" in a baggie. But oh no. Open mouth insert foot! So yeah, Chad- if you ever read this, I'm really really really sorry that wasn't big foot poop. If I ever come across some though, I'll be sure to give you a call to redeem our friendship.

Part of me really likes to think that big foot is just a really tall, fat balding old guy who has a body hair growth problem. You know, especially with the reports from the south east where people say it has a horrible odor. To me it makes perfect sense.

I also some times think that it was just a really really tall gorilla that some how managed to live in the wild and mated with lord knows what to keep the "hurd" alive.

But then there's another part of me. Whose pretty sure this ellusive creature is actually just an unshowered, unshaved college Freshman who got lost after hitting the bong one night.

Or just got really drunk one night and lost in the woods...maybe hit his head on a tree branch and suffered some brain damage, so now he 1. doesn't know who or where he is, and 2. forgot how to speak.
But if there is "big foot" out there somewhere, I think it would be cool. I think it would be way cooler if there were unicorns and mermaids, and dragons, but I'd settle for a big foot. I just hope he's like Harry.

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