Tuesday, July 08, 2008

no art work today

I'm in a not so great mood and would love to share a story with you today.
I went to the dentist yesterday. I've hated the dentist for a very long time- that doesn't mean I don't like taking care of my teeth, and that doesn't mean that I don't want straight teeth. I just hate the dentist because I associate pain with that whole practice. If the dentist had actually told me when I was younger that if I didn't get braces while in junior high, I would start getting migraine headaches because I have a cross bite, I would have listened, and begged and pleaded with my parents to get braces. If they had shown me the correct way to floss my teeth, so i didn't have to endure an hour long cleaning that I'm pretty sure entailed the hygenist ripping my teeth one by one out of my head with a pick to clean the gums violently with a stream of sand and then ramming my teeth back into my head- all while assuring me the procedure was not painful and shouldn't require me to breathe Nitrous Oxide, I would have flossed 10 times a day, the correct way. If I had a degree in dentistry I would have found out much sooner that the dentist I had gone to, to get my crown originally didn't do it right: meaning the whole "getting a crown after a root canal" was a really pleasant experience for me to start with, should have been the giant red buzzing light.
I hate the dentist. Still. But I started going to a new dentist recently because I needed a cleaning and my crown was bothering me. Here's how that all went down:
1. Dentist: "You have a cross bite do you suffer from really painful headaches?" me: "yes" dentist: "it's because of your bite. You HAVE to get braces. Well you HAVE to get them if you want your headaches to stop. If you're ok with the pain, then you don't have to get braces, you can just have crooked teeth"
2. Hygenist: "you don't have periodontal disease, you're gums just bleed, so we need to start you on a 3 session cleaning treatment" the bill: "periodontal hygene treatment" me: "Why the F*** am I paying for this if I don't have periodontal disease?"
3. Dentist: "You have 2 fillings that are metal and they are leaking, we have to replace those" me: "why?" dentist: "because they are leaking" me: "why are 'metal fillings' leaking?" dentist: "because they are old" me: giving up the arguement because he doesn't see where I'm going with this.
4. Dentist: "Who was your last dentist?" Me: "Dr. Meadows, in Dallas" Dentist: "Well whoever it was didn't put a post in to do the crown, so your crown that you have now is basically just hanging on...and it's fractured at the base, which wasn't even securely put on and you have a huge gap under the crown- this is bad, we have to do this" me: "how much will that cost?" Dentist: "well it doesn't really matter the price, you need to have this fixed".
5. Dentist: "See this crack on this tooth here? Yeah, we need to seal that before it turns into a cavity" me: "um, why weren't my teeth sealed to start with, so I wouldn't have to have it done now, and I would have never have needed fillings?" Dentist: *blink*
6. Cashier/Receptionist: "Ok, we don't want you to be homeless just to have beautiful teeth, but your bill is $2,000,000,000,000.00 of that your dental insurance will only pay $500.00
7. Me: "So can you tell me exactly why there is such a thing as dental insurance if they won't cover the full cost of a proceedure that is NEEDED because a previous dentist botched the job?" Cashier: "Because the insurance company wants you to go after your previous dentist to get the money. It's all about making their shareholders happy really". Me: "Insurance sucks" Cashier "yep".
So basically I had 2 major things done yesterday- the cleaning (which I'm cancelling further treatment for because it hurt so bad), and the replacement crown, which currently is only a temporary (and I really hope the post was permanent, because that was quite possibly the most pain I have ever felt in my entire life- including 2 broken bones and a sprained ankle). I scheduled the rest of my $8 gazillion dollar treatments for August 4th, asking if they have a payment plan. The way I look at it, I'll have everything completed August 4th and be paying it off until I'm 412 years old. Oh, well I'll actually only have my dental stuff fixed by August 4th. I still have yet to set an appointment with the orthodontist to correct this horrible bite, which will only cost me another 2 gazillion dollars, and my insurance will cover nothing.
Moral of the story: Parents- never let your children suck their thumbs, bottles, or pacifiers- it will only lead them down a horrible path of dental pain, and a growing hatred for the scary people who are in the dental profession.

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